I’m being induced on Monday.  I cannot even begin to tell you how scared out of my mind I am.  I keep trying to calm myself down and it works for a few minutes but then the terror creeps back into my head.  Even if I wasn’t being induced though, I would seriously want this baby out soon.  In the past few days, my discomfort level has reached an all time high.  My back is killing me.  I wake up every thirty minutes to pee.  I just feel ick.  I’m probably close to going into labor on my own and the baby is dropping.  I am so cranky.  So, on that note…. let’s talk about all the stupid ignorant inappropriate things that people will say to you while you are pregnant.  Not strangers, mind you.  People you know.

1.   You’re having a boy/girl?  Oh, I was so hoping for a (whatever the opposite of what you are having is).  Gee, thanks.  Next time I’ll let my chromosomes know what you were wanting me to have.

2.  Why are you feeling such and such way?  I thought that didn’t happen until much later/sooner.  Yeah cause you are obviously going through this and it is all about you, after all. I don’t make up symptoms for your entertainment.

3.  You are going to breastfeed, aren’t you?  This is such a personal decision for moms.  There is so much guilt attached to it if you don’t do it.  I love that complete strangers feel that they are entitled to an opinion about this for me.  I plan on giving it my all, but I can tell you this.  If it is too freaking difficult for me or Gage, we will go to formula and it won’t be the end of the world.

4.   I don’t like that name.  It reminds me of a movie, an actor, my dead uncle, my old neighbor, a bird I once had that got killed, my old tennis shoes.  Whatever the gripe may be.  Keep it to yourself.  Obviously I have thought this through and I know that will be his name for the rest of his life.  I could do without hearing your aversions to it.

5.  Have you considered that you could still be having a girl? (I am having a boy.)  So and so’s cousin’s neighbor thought she was having a girl and it was boy and blah blah.  Be educated please.  If they say it’s a girl, then yeah the possibility still exists that they couldn’t see the penis and you are having a boy.  But, if they have seen a definite penis five times now, I think it’s safe to assume that I am truly having a boy.  And guess what?  If I happen to have a girl on Monday, it will be okay.  I just want a healthy baby.  I will be surprised but she will just have to learn to like light blue walls.

6.  You are being induced?  Hmm, that’s a bad idea.  I knew someone once that did that and the labor pains were worse, the baby wasn’t right, you should let nature take its course.   First of all, if that person was having their first baby, how do they know the labor pains were worse.  What are they comparing it to?  Secondly, I was letting nature take it course and nature is creating a 9 pound baby inside me right now.  That is not good for me or the baby.  Bigger babies can have distress during labor.  My doctor knows what he is doing.  He does this crap ALOT.  If he thought it was a bad idea, he wouldn’t be suggesting it.  I’m only doing it six days early.  I’m pretty sure my baby is done cooking.  He is only gaining weight at this point.

7.  What are you going to do about your dogs?  Aren’t you afraid that your pitbull will kill the baby?   I’m more afraid that my weenie dog will do something wrong than my pitbull.  I would not purposely put my child in harm’s way.  My baby may end up covered in freaking dog hair, but other than that no, I’m not worried about them.  Trust me when I tell you that I do not plan on going to the grocery store and leaving my baby in the dog crate with the pit.  Be serious.

My baby bedding that my friend, Heather, made for me is here.  It is sooooooo perfect and awesome.  You have to see it in person.  These pictures don’t do it nearly enough justice. 

Yesterday we saw the doctor and I basically begged him to not let me go to 40 weeks.  I’m so miserable.  He said that I would be “the perfect candidate” for induction at 39 weeks.  I think that is because the baby is big (estimated to be in the 8’s right now).  Anyway, March 5 we will be going in to get induced and meet our guy.  That is, unless I go into labor on my own.  I am now almost 3cm and 90% effaced.

I’m very nervous but then also excited because I can plan now according to a specific date.  My parents live 9 hours away and so they can be here for the actual birth now.  It’s totally surreal to think that I will be a Mom in a little over a week.  The control freak side of me just cannot wait for nature to take it’s course with my body.  I can’t stand not knowing when my body will decide to go into labor on it’s own.  I just can’t.

I plan on updating at least one more time before we go with my very last belly shots, then this officially be a “baby” blog.  Heh.

Okay, remember how I wasn’t ready to have Gage just yet like last Friday?  I’m over it.  I am so done being pregnant at this point.   My level of extreme discomfort is ridiculous.  I cannot sleep for more than an hour at a time.  I am wheezing from asthma.  I can’t breathe through my nose at night so I wake up to a dry throat every thirty minutes and drink some water.  The water makes me have to pee.  My hip hurts from laying on one side.  I turn over and my other hip starts to hurt.  Bleck.  Done.  Done, I say.

God, I never thought this day would come when I was just 10 weeks pregnant. I’m 37 weeks today. Baby could come out now and no one would even bat an eyelash. In my head, I still have three weeks but it really could happen any day now. On Saturday, my mucous plug starting coming out (I think). So really all we do now is wait and try to get all the last minute stuff done. Here is the belly pic as of late. It is very round and hard and there is no denying I’m pregnant. I feel like all my weight has shifted forward. My back kills me constantly and my belly gets really hard and numb from time to time. I can’t do much anymore without feeling like I need to stop and take a break.  The whole set is here.

Today was my first vaginal exam at the doctor’s office.  I’m laying there and all I can hear is the tissue that covers the table crunching in my ear and the nurse says “yay!”  I sit up and say “yay, what?”  I am dialated 2cm and 80% effaced.  I was not prepared to hear that just yet.  It can mean nothing or it could mean something.  Labor is so not precise.  I looked back at some of your baby blogs and some of you were dialated to 3cm for like 3 weeks.  Some of you never dialated and went right into labor.  I guess it’s all up to the universe now.  I got so nervous once I heard that though that I almost puked.  I HAVE GOT to remember to just calm down because I cannot do anything to stop it and freaking out will not do anything to help being in labor.  What’s the worst case scenario?  I’ll puke and have diarrhea at the same time all over the place?  I’m sure it happens.  It probably won’t kill me.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a nap and cross my legs really tightly and pray that I can go at least through the weekend.  I have to have time to adjust to this idea.  9 months was not enough time to get mentally prepared!  Oh and the baby is huge already.  According to the doctor’s experienced guess, Gage is about 7.5 pounds and packing more on each day.  Big Bubba.

• Having a place to rest my arms (my belly).
• Feeling him kick and wiggle around in my belly.
• Just being pregnant, not fat.  I will have to start thinking about my weight again after he is born.  I’ve given it little to no thought this whole time.  It’s been so freeing.  I guess boxes and boxes of cookies will have to stop.
• Pooping.  I am really regular during prenancy.  Not so much when I’m not pregnant.

I WILL NOT MISS:

• Being as pale as I am due to the no tanning bed rule.
• Having flabby thighs.  I plan to start doing some sort of movement as soon as I get the go ahead.
• Being forced to sleep on one side or the other.  I will get to sleep on my stomach and my back again.
• Walking like I’m waddling around and literally being in pain while I walk.  I want to lift boxes and deep clean without being in agony.
• Peeing every thirty two seconds only to have four little drips come out.  We go through so much paper around here.
• Being a snot factory.  I just want my nose to be clear while I sleep.

Baby mobiles.  Why do they all suck?  I can’t find one that I like to go with my ultra awesome custom made baby bedding.  I don’t have it yet but when I do, I’ll post pics.  Don’t you worry.  Anyway, would a plain mobile be that hard?  I should go into the  mobile business.

Almost 36 weeks.  He moves around alot in there for what seems like long periods of time.  He’s run out of room to wiggle very much so his movements are very big and noticeable now.  Elvee has been able to feel the alien movements a few times now whereas a few weeks ago, it was difficult to catch him doing it.

One thing that he does that feels strange is that he curls up near my ribs and won’t budge.   I get a really hard ball up at the top of my uterus and it kind of goes numb.  It doesn’t hurt but it makes me feel like I’m going to puke.  He sometimes stays that way for just a few minutes and sometimes it is hours.  I guess that means that he isn’t dropping just yet.  Considering that when he does drop I’ll have to pee even more than I do now, I think I can wait.  I cannot imagine going more than I do now.  Cannot even imagine.  Oh, he also gets hiccups every night at around 9:30-10:30.  It’s like these rhythmic pulses that you can feel all the way through your tummy.  You have to really pay attention to it to pick up on it, but it’s so cool once you figure it out.

I cannot breathe out of my nose for probably 75% of the day. My nose is just totally stopped up and gross.  I am so sick of it.  This is the part that better go away as soon as I have Gage.

There are so many things that could have happened to me that haven’t.  I know I don’t have much to bitch about really.  I am extremely grateful for having it so easy even though I gripe alot.  I see women that have gained tons of weight and just look miserable.  I’ve gained maybe 15-20 pounds.  Considering how easily I gained before I was ever pregnant, I thought I would be right there with those women.  There are just so many things that could happen to you and I have been extremely lucky.  I go to the doctor tomorrow and it will be my first internal exam so I need to go pretty up my girl parts.  I’ll update once I see him.

This is what it looked like last week.  I’m sure it’s getting bigger by the minute.  Sometimes it feels like it is taking over the world.